Dear Grandma,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't want to face that you were dying and that I stayed away. I wish I could go back. If I could I would be at your house every day. I would lay by you and hug you and never leave you. I'm sorry that there were some days you were just at your house by yourself. I should have been there for every minute. I should have brought my kids to hold you and laugh with you. I'm sorry that I left. I'm sorry I was home thinking I should be there but not knowing how I could. I still dream that you are alive. I have those dreams a lot, actually. I wish those dreams were true. I wish that we were watching "Fried Green Tomatoes" and having a sleepover. I miss you every day. I'm sorry every day that I left you. I know that you wouldn't have left me. You always took care of all of us! You never complained. You were always smiling and laughing. You were so fun! I remember sneaking into your room at night because I was afraid of the dark. You kept me safe. You kept all of us safe. I miss your soft hands. You had the softest hands I've ever felt in my life. Your handkerchief doesn't smell like you anymore. I miss that. I miss you! I wish that cancer didn't take you and that you were still here. My kids would love you for their great-grandma. I know that you are happy where you are. I know that you're not angry with me and you wouldn't want me to be sad. I know you look out for all of us. I know when we make mistakes you probably call us "stupo-butts" or "geek goks". I love you. I will love you forever.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Dear Grandma
at 11:18 AM
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8 comments:
I miss Aunt Gloria too! She was so dang funny! She wouldn't want you to be sad at all.
Your Grandma was such a fun lady! I loved visiting her shop with you.
hi! i'm sorry for your loss. my grandmother passed away last month. your sweet grandma will always live on in your memories and in your heart. forgive yourself for not being there in the end and know that she loves you so much. focus not on the end but on all your wonderful memories of her!
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happy to connect with you!
I still dream about Granny G a lot too. I too wish I would have spent more time with her before it was too late.
I wish I hadn't been so afraid to see her die, I wish with all my heart I would have been there with her that night....I am ashamed I was a coward... I miss my mom more than words can ever say, my heart aches for her all the time. Sometimes I say "Roby" outloud because she is the only one who called me that, I would give anything to hear her voice say my name one more time. So many regrets... I love you mom, forever, Roby
I wish I would have known your Grandma more. I know Chad loves her so much. She meant a lot to him. She probably closer to each of you, more than you realize: )
This was beautiful. A little emotional to read but its not just because of people I've lost but because I loved your grandmother too! She was always so sweet and always a pleasure to see when you'd walk into her shops. Truly a wonderful woman!
I loved hanging out at the salon with Gloria aka Hagwana. (Do you remember us calling each other that?) Cleaning for her so we could use her paraffin wax on our hands. And painting our nails....I could go on and on. She was the best! Love ya!
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